Balancing marriage and science [Bride and Groom]

On Bride and Groom, we explore the real stories behind love, marriage, family and ambition. In this episode, malaria advocate and scientist Krystal Mwesiga Birungi shares her journey of balancing motherhood, marriage and a demanding global career

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Balancing marriage, motherhood, and a demanding career is not easy, but Crystal Mwesiga Birunji seems to be doing it with purpose and grace. The Ugandan entomologist and malaria advocate with Target Malaria is globally recognized for her work in the fight to end malaria and has received international recognition, including being named among influential young African leaders in global health. Away from science and global conferences, Crystal is also a wife and mother raising a son while managing a busy career that involves research, travel, and public health advocacy. Her story is like that of many modern couples in Uganda, building a family while pursuing purpose and ambition together. Now that's a balancing act. As Uganda jeers up for the Bride and Groom Expo starting Friday, June 26th, her journey opens up an honest conversation about love, partnership, parenting, and supporting each other's dreams in marriage. Amrazia Uffman speaking of the Bride and Groom Expo theme Beyond I Do, a journey of love, home and family. Let's hear Crystal's story. Many people know you as a scientist and malaria advocate. But who is Crystal away from work and public life?

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Well, I'm a daughter and I'm a mother and a wife. And uh I'm not sure I ever really stopped being an end malaria advocate or an advocate for public health. I think um that is probably deeply ingrained in my life. So um, yeah, the people that uh around me all the time, I think, would say that I probably do spend quite a bit of my time um advocating for people to get their children immunized, to uh, you know, to use mosquito nets to make sure they they treat um, you know, any fevers or you know, head right hospital if anyone doesn't feel well. I think um that part is really um ingrained into um all sides of my life. But yeah, aside from that, um, yeah, I'm uh I like spending time with my friends and I like church. Uh I'm an Anglican and uh yeah, but especially time with my family, with my siblings, with my parents, cousins, um, and of course my husband and my son.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Growing up, did you always imagine yourself working in science and global health, or did this journey surprise even you?

SPEAKER_01 3:00

I did pretty consistently always think that I would work in science and health, to be honest. Um, it has had a little bit of an evolution. If you asked me when I was about five years old, I probably would have just said, I want to be a doctor, like uh many other little children. Um but uh I would say that uh going through school and the different things we're learning in class really did inspire where I ended up in terms of where in health. So um, of course, my own home experiences, my family experiences, um especially with malaria, did determine um, or at least influence the direction that my path was taking. Um, but deciding that I really wanted something um to do with genetics, to do with entomology, that was really uh when that really did kick in when we did um uh genetics in uh in S3 or in high school um uh biology. And you know, it just made sense to me. It seemed to have so much potential um for combating a lot of the issues that we have with disease and also with malaria, of course, and cancer and all these other things that seemed you know insurmountable. Um, a lot of people did not quite get that vision. I remember sharing that and having people not really understand what I was seeing in this or where I thought I could go with something like that. Um, but hey, this is where we are now, and I guess the whole world kind of sees that potential today.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

That's right. You've built an internationally recognized career in science, particularly in the fight to end malaria, while also being a wife and mother. How do you intentionally create balance between family and work?

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Um, I would have to say that the creation of the balance did not begin intentionally. Um I think with being a scientist, especially, work can really take over your life because you know sometimes you run experiments out of work hours, um, you will have field work that goes for days. So um often you actually can end up doing a lot of uh having a lot of your time more uh geared towards um your career or your work. Um if you're if you're a scientist, especially um if you have a lot of lab work or field work attached to that. Um so I will say that uh one thing that has made this extremely possible, or even possible at all, is just the amount of support that I've got. Because I have a very supporting mother who was able to help me out with my uh with my son when he was very little, and I still had to do like sometimes field work or be away for a week or so. Um, but also a very supportive husband, you know, who's very hands-on and you know, is able to, you know, able to balance the household, I would say. So that um, you know, there's always someone there for our son, if whether I'm away or he's away, you know, and just being able to work our schedules around to make sure that um that part is balanced. Um eventually, of course, I did have to be more intentional about it, especially um when I'm doing a lot of uh of travel. Um we we had to be intentional about it. So we have shared calendars where we can put up everything that's happening with uh with both of us to see that uh you know how we make sure that one of us is always around um for our son. And also it's meant putting up boundaries where um you know there's a maximum amount of time that I can be away, and then the rest you know has to be curated. I have to um sometimes not do everything um that I'm asked to do or that I have the opportunity to do because you know it also matters that I spend some time with my son, with my husband, um, and with family. So it is um, I'll say a little bit of a balancing act, yes, but it's also about prioritizing, it's about picking the things that um I will not allow to slide. So, for example, it's about saying I will be there for the parent-teacher meetings or I'll be there for the school shows or the sports days, you know, and making sure that those days are protected, that time is protected, um, and that uh, you know, I remember, you know, it's about choosing what's really important to you and not compromising on it, you know? And yeah, so that is possible, but honestly, it's only possible when you have a lot of support. It's support from the people I work with, it's support from my family, support from my husband. Yeah, so and um also I make sure my husband my son really does understand what I'm doing. He's seven, but um, yeah, I think he can tell you also the importance of uh of ending malaria, of of promoting public health.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Behind the awards and global recognition, what are the simple family moments that matter most to you personally?

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Honestly, they really revolve around my family, around my husband, around my son. Um uh for example, every night before bed, I uh I sing a blessing to my son. And um, you know, that is really important to him. And so no matter where I am in the world, um I will try and make sure that uh around bedtime, or at least as close as I can get to it, I will at least make a video call and um and sing him that blessing so that you know he knows that uh I'm still thinking about him where I am and I'm able to talk to him. And I think he really looks forward to that moment as well, because if it's time for bed and hasn't yet happened, then he's going to remind, you know, he's going to remind his dad and say, I need I need mommy to to give me my blessing. Well, she needs to bless me right now. Um, and uh that is, I think, one of the moments that uh really um or a bit of protected time that really means a lot to me because it's a moment to really ground myself and connect with my son um and with my family, no matter where I am and uh what I'm doing at the moment. Um, yeah, so that is that's I think one of the moments that really matter to me a lot. It's the time I get to talk to my husband every day at the end of the day, um when we're together physically to just ask, you know, what has been going on, how was your day, you know, um what would you like to talk about, and really just spending some time in each other's presence. It is family prayers before bed, um, when I am actually present. So um it's those moments. And even when I'm not present, it's doing that, but maybe over the phone instead. And sometimes we have to be flexible and do it at different hours than we would have if um, you know, we're face to face. But it is that time that allows us to reconnect and to remain in touch with each other and with what's going on in each other's lives, um, no matter what else we have to do, or um, you know, what else is uh what other fight we are, you know, we're spearheading and going on. Um so yes, I think those are uh some of the key moments that really keep me grounded outside of of work and all those other things that that really, really matter to me, I think, with my family.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

How important has your husband's support been in helping you grow in such a demanding career? And what have you learned about partnership in marriage?

SPEAKER_01 10:27

I think I've been blessed to have such a supportive partner in my husband. Um, he has always been supportive, even when uh maybe he doesn't quite see the vision that I'm talking about sometimes. And there's like, oh, that seems like a monumental task, or you know, you sure you have the bandwidth for that much. But you know, even when you know he's asking himself that, he's always been very supportive and and very proud. Um, I would say. Uh, but uh yeah, he's always willing to help where he can, to step in and support me where he feels I'll need support. Um, and yeah, I think uh that has been extremely important because there are times when I'm just exhausted and too tired, and maybe you feel like you know things are being taken out of you. We had a couple of tough years for public health, um, 2025, especially, and you know, part of 2026. And you know, sometimes it's not just physically draining, sometimes it can be emotionally draining and things like that. Um, and yeah, so he's really my rock in all those situations. Um, you know, just a steady presence that's always, you know, unchanging and always supportive. And this really makes all the difference in being able to do things that sometimes people look up and say, How did you do that? That seems that that was that was a huge undertaking. But you know, having that support in your corner, um, it really does change things. It really does make it easier to um to attempt what you know will be a demanding situation, a demanding journey. Um, yeah, so I would say my my husband is extremely important um in my career path, in my life, in uh my decisions. And yeah, so I would say that um partnership in marriage is is really key. It's really important because it's not just important for him to support me, it's important for me to support him, you know, and the things that he wants to do that he thinks are important. So it's not really a one-way street, I would say. Um, because you know, there are things that he wants to do, there are dreams that he has. And it's always about making sure that you're keeping sight of each other, that no one is going unhard, you know, that uh as you're dreaming big, you don't forget that other people have dreams too. So um, yeah, it has been a balance for us, and um I am grateful to God that it has worked out really well so far, but also, you know, very grateful to my husband because I cannot underestimate how much of that is just due to who he is and and uh you know how he has chosen to be uh a support and um you know a partner to me in this journey.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

As someone constantly traveling and working on malaria advocacy, how do you stay emotionally present for your son and family?

SPEAKER_01 13:15

You know, we're blessed to live in a world with technology. Because when I think about how people used to do this before they had FaceTime and phone calls and, you know, and all these different things, I think it must have been a very draining experience. Um, but I will say that I also rarely travel for more than two weeks at a time. Um you know, I try to keep it that it's that really maximum because I do recognize that I want, you know, some face-to-face time with my family, with my son, with my husband. So even when I'm doing a lot of travel, I must spend at least, you know, half my time present with my family, like in the same place. Um, and because and part of that is really because children grow up really fast at this age. And I feel the need to continue to be present, especially in my son's life at this moment, because um, in his case, especially phone calls may not really be uh enough sometimes to to really capture what's going on in his world. Everything changes very rapidly for children um when they're so young, but also especially uh for for my husband as well, because uh, I don't know, it's true that uh the gadgets and the videos will make long distance relationships a lot more um manageable, but in our case, we're you know, we live in the same house. So um I don't think we we're quite ready to be just long distance, I would say. Um so it is uh quite important that when I'm with them, I'm in the moment. So, you know, when you're gone, you can do the calls, we can do the gadgets, we can do the FaceTime, and that's actually really helpful, I think. It helps to keep us present in each other's lives and to keep that routine. That routine that, you know, every day we must, you know, we must touch base, we must find out how the day went. Um, if possible, we we should wish each other a good day if we happen to be able to meet um, you know, the time if the timing happens to work uh well or for uh depending on where I am. But at least for that decompressing part that it's really important that we spend some time really asking each other and catching up and figuring out how our days went, regardless of uh how far apart we are or or how close we are together. That has remained really a key factor. Um, but also that when I am here, I am really here. That when we're together, there is time where we can just talk to each other and be present for each other. Um, and it's important to gazette that time for both my son and my husband because it's easy to be in the same place but still not be together. You know, it's easy to be in the same place and still not know what's going on with your partner, but really know what's going on with your children. So this it has to be an intentional step. It has to be something that you intend to do, otherwise, it's very easy to get out of touch, I think. So, um, yeah, that is something that I do, that we do. Um, and I think it has really helped us to stay emotionally present for each other and uh and for our son.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

For young couples attending the bride and groom expo, what advice would you give about building a marriage where both partners can grow, dream, and succeed together?

SPEAKER_01 16:22

For young couples attending the bride and groom expo, the advice I would give anybody about being building a marriage, there's two pieces. Um, number one is that communication is key. I see. You cannot solve problems if you're not talking to each other, you can barely identify problems if you're not talking to each other. It is really, really important to talk to each other. There's a saying that says, assume will make an ass of you and me. So do not assume that your partner knows what you're thinking magically. Do not assume that you know what they mean. Ask. Take the time to say, when you said this, what did you mean? And then when you ask, take the time to answer. Because there'll be instances when uh when people feel wronged or when they feel like, oh, someone should just know this, and then they're reluctant to voice what that thing is because they just feel like the person should know, you know, or I'm in the right, I shouldn't have to explain myself. And I think these are very damaging points to to stand from because if you do not tell somebody how you feel, it is unreasonable, yes, unreasonable, to explain to expect them to just know. Um, and this will take a toll on your marriage. So taking the time to communicate is extremely important. You'd be surprised how many issues would be resolved if people just took their time to talk to each other. So that would be the first big piece of advice I'd give anybody going into any marriage. And the second thing is that marriages are unique. Your marriage is not somebody else's marriage. So when people are telling you what to do and what not to do, aside from communication, um, you know, make sure that it applies to your situation. Sometimes you can tailor that advice because sometimes trying to copy exactly what somebody else is doing may not work for your situation. Your partner is different, you might be different, you're not raised in the same households, you know. So compromise is key. You need to be able to tailor this situation to your marriage. So don't expect your marriage to work exactly like some other person's marriage because you are not that person. Your husband is not that person, or your wife is not that person. So um, yes, marital advice is great, but remember that ultimately you and your partner are the ones working on your marriage, you're the ones driving your future. And every day you really do have to choose each other. You have to wake up and choose each other.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Thank you so much, Crystal Muesiga Birungi. What a beautiful and honest conversation about love, partnership, and balancing life's many responsibilities. And as we've heard, building a strong relationship is not just about romance, it's about understanding, support, and growing together through every season of life. Now, if you are planning your next step in love, marriage, your family life, there is a place designed just for you. The Bride and Groom Expo by Vision Group is coming soon, bringing together experts in relationships, marriage, counseling, wedding planning, fashion lifestyle, and financial guidance for couples. Whether you are preparing for marriage, newly married, or building your home together, this is your opportunity to learn, connect, and get inspired by real stories and practical advice. So make a date with the Bride and Groom Expo starting Friday, June 26th to Sunday, June 28th at Uma Multipurpose Hall. Entrance is 10,000 shillings. Beyond I Do, a journey of love, home and family. Thanks for listening.